Got back in nursing school.. 3rd level, yayy! and a semester early! I was so excited and shocked but I am ready to get back in and make good grades.. anyways, im sleepy.. be back soon

cold and bored

I am freezing and it is 4:56 A.M. on a nice Monday morning. I needed a break from studying geography and wanted to do something different so I thought I would just talk. I am so ready to get back into nursing school. Don't ask me why? because it was a living hell but at the same time that is all I know. I am working harder than ever in geography to get an A but learning so many new things that I never knew about the world.. so it all equals out in the end. but still, I am so nervous about getting back into the nursing program and forgetting everything that I learned from 1st, 2nd and 3rd level.. if you are reading this and don't understand why I am freaking out then put it this way.. I was kicked out of the nursing program for you know.. just some fingernail polish, running a little late to clinicals and last.. the IV bag that I thought I would hang longer than my teacher does.. but hey, I thought I was being cost efficient? but no..I got kicked out. after learning 3 semesters of Fundamentals, Community, Assessment, Psychiatric, Maternity, Medsurg 1..important dealing with the heart.. maybe something you might need in life plus more important body systems and now I am sitting out a YEAR.. I will reapply in the fall and start back off with medsurg part 2 (where I left off) but still, think about it.. I am going to be accepted back into this program to take care of peoples lives after I have been isolated from it for a year.. do you realize how much information that can possibly be erased? and yes I know I can read and keep up.. but guess what? I now have to work my butt off to get A's in classes like first aid, culture through cinema, geography, CIS, etc. so that I can pull up my GPA. Now are you scared? because I am.. I don't want to take care of people without being confident in my knowledge about certain drugs, diseases, body systems.. It isn't right. Isn't school a learning process? I know I shouldn't have worn nail polish but goshhhhh... I now know that it is not acceptable and I will never do it again.. but why make me sit out a year, get out of my normal routine of nursing life and then somehow jump right back into it. If you are a nursing major you understand.. it is an entire different life when you are in THE nursing program.. your life is over.. no lie. It is over. done. end of story. You study literally your entire day. I would come home from class.. 3 pm, eat a snack, 4 pm start studying, 6 pm bathroom, 6:05 pm start back until 4 am, maybe wash your hair or face to wake you up and then back to school at 7:00 am and the process is a vicious cycle. I still don't sleep much thanks to this routine but there is so much to learn in so little time. and if you want to be a successful nurse you have to know everything. with the classes I am taking now I have so much time on my hands but I want to make sure I make an A in everything.. but still.. I feel weird not having to really study every second of my life.. I feel weird that I can get on here and have a blog to yell at the world.. which no one reads these but still.. it makes me stress free. With all of that being said I just really want to stick with one lifestyle and quit jumping in and out of the fun life vs. misery. just let me stick with one people please??
Other than that.. my life is not so well right now. EXCEPT for the fact that my sister is pregnant for her first time! I will be an aunt in April and I cant wait!!! Hopefully it will be born on my birthday. We wont know the sex until December but I am definitely leaning towards it being a boy.. I don't know why, but I feel it. The bad part of my life right now is when I think I am getting things right and perfect they go completely wrong. I try so hard to make this person happy and the end result is 92% of the time things go way wrong. my words come across as insults and my actions that I thought were jokingly funny turn into the biggest catastrophe you could ever imagine. I get so frustrated because I just want to laugh.. but i guess that is the immaturity in me.. I like to cut up and laugh a lot.. sometimes to much, but why be so serious? There is a time for serious and a time for jokes but I guess I just don't understand. I hope I can learn my mistakes and fix them. Other than that.. I am pumped because my grades are wonderful and my family makes me laugh. I also have great friends. I am thankful for all I have!! but I don't need to be on here babbling.. I need some sleep.. I will write back soon!!

What a great person!

Six months ago I met the most amazing person I have ever met in a long time. The first thing I noticed about him was that he was a silly weirdo just like me. We still laugh to this day about "Rack em" video that I introduced him to. I never thought that I would ever date a guy that wasn't from the U.S. But guess what..I did.. and it was the most amazing experience ever. I have always been somewhat of a closed minded person that never would open up to other people or environments other than my "usual" surroundings. Maybe it was me being ignorant or self-centered but what in the world was I thinking? I have never met someone that could teach me so much in only 6 months. After the first night we met we both knew (now that we look back on that night) that we had to hang out more! I mean he told me he was leaving Florence to go back to Turkey in a week from the night we met... a WEEK! I had to get to know this amazing guy.. so I facebook him. After that we were together until I took him to the airport that next week.. literally 24/7. Summer was torture, I just met this guy that I knew I was falling for.. and he was 8 hours ahead of our time. Think about that.. we can't talk on the phone.. to much money. So one day my roommate mentioned this great invention called skype. and oh my goshhhhhh! what a relief.. I was able to talk face to face with john and even better it was FREE! I still have to complain though.. working around work, school, social life and maintaining a long LONG distance relationship..8 hours ahead was very hard to work around. but we both were so interested and yes i am going to say it.. in love with each other that we couldn't help but try to make things work. Summer goes by slower.. and days get closer to August 3rd, which is the day that I would be waiting for him at the airport. I found myself going on multiple trips.. my mom was SO mad at me because I couldn't stop.. I was so anxious to spend time with this guy that I had fallen in love with already! I have to stress the last few sentences.. I literally was flying around on the interstate, working like a little rat trying to find new places to get away from Florence.. it was so funny and I was so poor :) hahaha, okay sorry..but it was funny. August 2nd felt like Christmas and next thing I know I feel like I am in some movie or dream? I am walking up to the airport and there he is! It was the best feeling ever.. The next 2 weeks we spent time in Florence.. but guess what..he wasn't coming back to UNA he was going to Auburn because he didn't feel that UNA was for him.. So I wag him to Auburn.. and move him in. Once again, within a few days he was back out of my arms. I was always eager to be with him and learn new things everyday!! Until last week I have traveled to Auburn every 2 weeks.. my poor car is dying but the trips were well worth the four hour drive from Florence. We laughed for hours in Auburn every time I went to visit because we were so crusty.. he is international.. has no car and has to walk everywhere.. Little did he know, auburn is not international friendly like UNA is. and he was having to stock up on every little piece of food he could find. It was so funny.. :) But throughout the past few months we both realized that we are two totally different people.. and sometimes things don't go the way we want when we are complete opposites. Maybe it is culture, maybe it is me? maybe it is him? who knows. All I know is that we are the best of friends and I have never loved anyone this much for what he has done for me. He has taught me the little things in life that matter the most and the things that I need to work on as a person. All I can say is thank the lord I met this guy.. because he is the greatest influence on the old me :). Thought I would get that off my chest.. Have a good day!

maybe this blog will give me good luck

So I am going to just throw this out there... I made this blog so I could laugh about my life.. and how bad everyday goes.. but everyday this past week has been amazing!! No bad luck, no bad news, NOTHING! I am sitting at work almost about to be finished and then heading to the great AU! I get to spend time with John all weekend and I am so excited.. I don't know if we will be able to go to the game but spending time with him is all I ask for. :) This blog is pointless and i've gotta head to auburn! CYA!

what a weekend

I almost lost the most amazing person in my life this weekend because 1. i suck at life and 2. i say horrible things when I get mad. I have a problem with saying things during arguments that I don't really mean. When I get all worked up during an argument I become overwhelmed with feelings that sometimes I don't even know what I am talking about. I will think back on some of the things I said and think to myself... really? was it necessary? and the answer is most of the time no. it was not necessary and I should learn that some of the things I say can really hurt people. I hurt someone that I care more than anyone in my life for and I regret everything I ever did or say to ever hurt him because honestly he is amazing. he cares so much for people around him and there are not many people like that in the world today. I realized it is time to grow up.. and stop saying things that are stupid and mean? It makes me so mad and now has caused me to have many panic/upset attacks that I don't know what else to do but... Blog..:D maybe this thing has something good for me? but I don't know. I wish I could take back things that I say but then if that happened we wouldn't learn from what happened. I really am not getting anywhere with this but it does help me get it out and relieve some stress. I have my first world regional geography map quiz on Tuesday and sadly enough I am a 3rd level nursing student that just so happened to have wore some nail polish and maybe ran 5 minutes late to clinical that ended up getting me kicked out of the university nursing program. how crazy is that? I now get to wait out a year and reapply next semester for the fall 2010 semester to start. leaving me to graduate may 2011. thank you UNA and have a wonderful day. I cant get over the nursing program but I guess it is going by the rules that some person had to make up one day. Oh well. I love geography and I am enjoying taking off from doing nursing processes, staying up all hours of the night during the week, learning drug cards, wiping ass, and studying 24/7 ..2 months for a test and then making a 82 or something like that. It is great being able to breathe and listen to an interesting teacher like my geography teacher and learn about things that will help our world. It is really sad, but guess what? i have no clue where anything is except for the US, Australia, and like 3 more places. and guess what? By Tuesday, I will know where every country is located. on a map. How about that? This class is great. we are able to study locations, information on the countries, cultures, and other fun things. I find it exciting to wake up for class and learn about that. Weird? yep.. i know. So far this semester is great. I am trying to pull up my grades and enjoy my classes that I will be paying for eventually one day. Nursing may not be my thing but guess what. I have came to far in that program that I will get through it and graduate and then go back for another degree. I cant give up because I really do care for people. Anyways, I have to go and get back to learning the world map. I can't wait to make my 100 and then go to Auburn for the weekend. Get me out of this town asap! Sorry for the babble.. have a wonderful sleep! :D

can't believe i'm blogging...

I am really nervous to have a blog and I feel really cool right now. okay anyways just to start things off.. everyday i wake up and I am happy because i survived the day. I can't really explain in words how funny things are in my life but I have the WORST luck EVER! I am not being over dramatic or anything like that. but, seriously..it is the funniest thing I have ever experienced in 22 years. I have always heard to write or blog when you are stressed or whatever and I thought about it.. and decided that I will let the world experience what I go through everyday. My friends find it hilarious and love to hear what new happened to me throughout the day. other than all the bad things that happen to me I also have many wonderful things about my life that I would love to share. this is getting awkward so i will write later.